Step of faith

I did it. I told my supervisor and team leader about wanting to resign. On one hand, I feel so bad, as though I 'cheated' them of paying me 4 months of maternity leave. To feel a wee bit better, I told myself "only 2 lah.. 2 was paid for by the government..." It is also tough explaining to relatives and friends why I wanted to be a stay-home mum. "Why not get a maid?", "Isn't it a waste of your degree?" and "How about childcare centres?" are just some of the common helpful suggestions thrown up. It is tough not to waiver!

So for now, I resolve to keep good track of my expenses! No more shopping at whim, especially online shopping! Have. to. limit. online. shopping. I have had enough of disappointments with online buys! Sigh. Lost count of the times I felt cheated by the material and cut of items that looked so good on the screen, but cannot make it when I receive the items in mail.

I am also worried I will become so overwhelmed by the housework and daily taking care of the kids that I lose the joy and focus too soon. Help me always remember why I love my kids.

2011 reflections

It's been so long since I blogged that this entry should probably be titled "2010 and 2011 reflections"! It's been a crazy few months, since Leanne arrived in October.

2011 has been most challenging, especially the last 3 months. Now I know why they say the transition from 1 child to 2 kids is the toughest! And I have newfound respect for families with more than 2 kids. There is totally zilch me time. And I have not had time for my yearly rebounding ritual. I can't afford more than 3 hours at the salon now so say "hi" to unruly hair for now!

So what are some of my more memorable moments this year?

1. Pregnancy

I had forgotten how it was like since my last pregnancy was 3 years ago! I remember telling an ex colleague previously that I will miss being pregnant. I guess I will still say the same thing now. Being so connected to the baby, feeling every movement (ok maybe not every..), every ultrasound scan, the excitement of finding out the baby's gender et cetra, are so precious!

2. Lincoln starts school

Although it was horrible at first as he had much problems adjusting to school, I can safely say he enjoys school now. Minus all the initial adjustments, cranky and insecure behaviour, it is really one of the best things to happen.

3. Leanne's arrival

Truly blessed with a precious daughter, who is really such a dear to look after. She is an incredibly easy baby and very sweet. I believe she is trying to talk to me already! But more on that in another post!

4. Importance of family and friends

Finding time to spend with friends is even tougher now with 2 kids. But it's something I definitely don't want to give up. As for family, their support (especially practical ones!) are really priceless and so so crucial.

I start 2012 with greater responsibility and hopes. God, help me!

soccer fever.. not

Yes, it's the World Cup season.. and no, we're not World Cup crazy. Church camp celebration night theme was "My Hero/Heroine". We were too lazy to think of more exciting things to wear, hence the convenient soccer jerseys. And no, Louis and Lincoln doesn't support Korea. The Korea jerseys were their only buys from Korea, by the way. :)

matching jerseys!

No I didnt'buy a Korean jersey. I'd rather buy many other clothes with the monies!

Lessons through church camp

Victory through faith! That's the church camp theme this year. I'm thankful that the Loke tribe managed to make it this year to church camp, despite just having started work for 2 weeks (i.e. very hard to take leave). So thank God for favour with the bosses.

I'm quite ashamed to say that I didn't have much expectations for the camp. Last year, I missed parts of the camp sermons due to a fussy baby who couldn't sit still. This year I was expecting history to repeat itself. Furthermore, the mil wouldn't be there, which meant I had to be with the boy more. Thankfully, the boy managed to attend the nursery class without me. It was heartbreaking to see him cry, but I reckoned that sooner or later, he would have to get used to going to preschool without me or his grandma around.

Here are some lessons I learnt (and still remember)!

1. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Very biblical. Very tried and tested.

2. We can never be sinless, but we have to sin less.

3. God saved me so that I can be fruitful. I owe it to Him not to spend my life frivolously.

4. If you want to save money, you should move to Malacca. No shopping. I bought ZERO things. Except local snacks. :(

5. Lincoln looks good in red!

Will be back with some pictures. Mr Loke needs to use the lappie.

I still believe in love

There's something about weddings that just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it's the fact that I was there without distractions (aka Linc), or maybe it's the fact that it's a wedding of 2 dear friends. Before the bride even came in, I already teared during the montage. I remember when I was younger, attending weddings was more of a fun, photo-taking affair where we would just gather and take photos and pose after or even during the wedding. It was fun because we seldom had the chance to dress up and put on make-up and attend a "function" together.

Now that I'm older (sigh) and more mature (yeah!), I am more selective about the weddings I

attend. I do not fancy attending weddings of people I would call acquaintances, or whom I've never been close to, especially dinners, especially dinners. It just takes too much time away from the limited time I have.

Well, back to why weddings just make me feel all melty. Is it the flowers? The love songs that are playing softly in the background? All these definitely add to the mood. But more than that, I think it's seeing two people in love taking the step of faith to be together forever, come what may... for better for worse, to love and to cherish. And that makes me believe in love all over again.

All girls like flowers.

The customary shot with the gal pal.